The Invisible Friction That Blocks Buy-In
Why your smartest ideas face resistance, and what to do about it.
You’ve done the hard part.
You’ve clarified the logic. You’ve gathered the data. You’ve mapped the steps.
But somehow, your idea still doesn’t land.
It’s not a lack of clarity.
It’s not poor delivery.
It’s something else:
An invisible friction.
The subtle, often unspoken resistance that derails even the best proposals.
Before people say no, they feel uneasy.
And most of the time, they won’t tell you why.
So if you're serious about earning trust, influence, and support—
you need to surface that resistance before it blocks your message.
Here are the four sources of invisible friction and how to address each:
A proactive way to identify resistance before it turns into rejection.
1. Personal Friction
“If I say yes to this… what might it cost me?”
Even rational actors carry emotional risk.
Stakeholders may fear being wrong.
Looking uninformed.
Losing credibility.
Or taking on more responsibility than they’re ready for.
Here’s what to do:
Signal safety.
Acknowledge their concerns out loud.
Let them know it’s not all-or-nothing.
Invite their input, not just their approval.
Instead of: “This is the best path forward.”
Try: “There are tradeoffs, and here’s how we’re accounting for them.”
2. Practical Friction
“Even if I agree… how hard is this to implement?”
Cognitive overload kills good ideas.
The more complexity, the more perceived effort.
Even motivated teams resist what feels messy, undefined, or costly in time, energy, or resources.
Here’s what to do:
Reduce perceived effort.
Spell out the first next step.
Offer scaffolding that makes execution less abstract.
Instead of: “We just need to shift our approach.”
Try: “Here’s a specific action we can take this week—with minimal disruption.”
3. Perception Friction
“I’ve seen this before. It didn’t work.”
People filter ideas through prior experience.
And smart people?
They’ve seen a lot—and often lead with skepticism.
They don’t resist because they’re negative.
They resist because they’re pattern-recognizing machines.
Here’s what to do:
Change the frame.
Show how this situation is meaningfully different from the ones they’re recalling.
Or highlight what’s changed—in context, timing, execution, or leadership.
Instead of: “This worked elsewhere.”
Try: “Last time we tried this, X was missing. Here’s how we’re addressing it now.”
4. Political Friction
“If this gains traction, where does that leave me?”
You’re not just navigating logic.
You’re navigating landscape—power, influence, visibility, and competing agendas.
Someone may not object to your idea.
They may object to who it elevates.
Or who it displaces.
Here’s what to do:
Map the terrain.
Name the shared wins.
Signal awareness of how this fits into broader priorities—yours and theirs.
Instead of: “We all want what’s best for the organization.”
Try: “Here’s how this supports your team’s goals, too.”
Bottom Line
The best ideas don’t sell themselves.
If you want your insights to move others,
you have to meet their resistance before it meets your message.
Great communicators don’t just explain.
They anticipate.
So, conduct the friction audit before the friction becomes apparent.
See you in your inbox,
Girvin
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A Drop to Carry This Week: Before your next proposal or pitch, ask: “Where might resistance be hiding and how can I lower it before it surfaces?”